sentenced to forty

It was the year my heart broke and all through the night not a creature was stirring not even a hippo. "I do not think there is anything really wrong with him Jerry its just his goddam attitude. I mean you know he could have been somebody he could have been an office clerk instead of a complete and utter bum which is what he is" the doctor said to the man present and whoever else wanted to listen. I was ignored like the proverbial cockroach all those around him thought I was. The specimen was all i was to those selfish scheming bastards. A nut wit with no future and no spine enough for the big bad world. Oh yeah plenty of spice , plenty of bloody dash especially after downing a few if not many for want of a better word, spirit. But just no bloody use to this wonderful endearing society of ours. They all had a good hard look at yours truly shook their heads and walked off to something a little more perky in the lives of drudgery.

I stared hard at the floor for what felt like almost oh i would say a minute before the sweat off my brow shook me from my daydream stupor. I loved that bastard I thought. Without him I could not get away with a thing. No meds, no drugs , no welfare. He gave up on me along time ago but his homosexual tendencies kept me in his good books for over ten bloody years. You see I was a pretty boy and pretty boys are taken care of by the gay middle class elite. Oh for the life of a choir boy I thought. But I was straight i think. You seeI adore girls and in some cases they adore me. Look see here I have just realised something. And he falls into the dark....

Waning moon

Broken heart. I adore you my unmended heart. You scream out to them for release and redemption. The deafening silence blinds you yet you go on and on and on. You dream poor heart for a love that is blind. You scream for love that has gone. Yearning for so long for what has gone forever. In the days of night you beg for light and they just pass you. They cannot see you no more. She will not see you anymore. O nightmare heart why continue .... to dream. He sent for you, awake. Awake magnificent heart!!! Death in life stirs for the sheer heights in you. Create for me o dear LOVE a world where VIctory wields strength. She has turned from you forever but you o broken and burnt and serated, climb on. All turn away in shame and humiliation but I will cover you. A veil of golden white sprays forth the seafoamshame into your enemies glaring eyes and screaming they shall fall at your feet for drowning you in their judgements . Arise pure heart great LOVe of The World Shall ONc eAGain Be REstored!!!!!!!!!! Climb on!!

Untitled wars

Born dead. Thats what they said anyway. At least a broken leg and then let the cards fall where they may. I thought about it for quite a long time before they decided to hunt me down in the hospital. Just another one bites the dust they say. They say thats what they say these days. i hope your all aware of the current state of play. A famous cynic once said Who gives a fuck. i completely agree next time this happens someone is going to pay. i tried to get back inside the machine but there was no way my friends. Geez it was only one day we were all only one day old. In the end I came upon a sleeping swan who dreamt of me when I was a kid . It awoke and in a way spoke. Spoke of the hard years. The hard years of gruesome ponds and demented eels and freezing summers. Its plight along with many others underscored the state of play. Skimming thats what we have been reduced to, skimmiing for air and the right to succeed in a world full of the dead. We all see ourselves zombied and drowned and torn by the weary light. I love you. I still love you.