I am unwell. Blocked and black. Heartbroken and cracking in the head.
The dreams of death keep returning.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
the stare
It was the last time and the last fucking chance. All his shots at utopia had failed miserably. An inkling. Tiny but sure niggled in his gut. "I can do this. Not I must but I can ,not can now but I fucking will. I will do it. I must its the last time. No not must. I can. I will!" He is taken over.
He picks up the ball. Focusing on the basket. Attempting correction for all possible outcomes, once twice and now again. He finally looks hard and fast at the basket. Looks down at the ball. This time in minutae careful measurement he raises his torso and lifts the arms in one perfect motion eyes bulge open and he takes the shot.
In slow motion. The balls parabolic trajectory seems to be right on the mark , it slowly spins through the tense air. The shot is on track as it approaches the basket.
Very slow motion. The ball very slowly reaches the hoop. it is going in. There is even a hint of a smile in the boy. The ball is going in. its going in!!
But a shudder deep and celestial reverberates and chills their bones and cracks the walls and shakes the hoop.
"What was that then?"
" Ive seen this once before ' a greybeard announces.
" The Void Smiles At The Boy!"
He has missed the shot.
Three days Later
Midnight Storms blow heavily across the fields and the oceans redblooded rage against the shore.
Masses of people herdlike tread towards the ocean cliffs against the gales, inanimate and mechanically. The first lines of the herds approach the cliff and suddenly stop.
The boy is there at the very front. He alone steps to the very edge of the abyss. He raises his head into the gale and stares out into the vast horizon. It is a beautiful sight. He breathes in the heavy waves of air blowing . The redblood sea shines like a luminous grand spectacle. The bloodlight reflects in his eyes and cheeks.
A sudden great loud yawn causes them all to press hands to ears.
Near the bottom of the cliff exactly below the boy a whirlpool of black nothing begins to swirl. Its edges rise up the cliff. The swirl of nothing black as midnight seems to hover and sneer at the boy. It looks at the herds and smiles. Somehow eyes form upon the VOId and turning to the boy he is forced to stare at them. The boy terrified looks away. For some reason he begins to calm and he finally turns to The VOID. The Void And the Boy just stare at each other, not in anger but in some kind of wrestle. The hordes look up from their hypnotic state in great wonderment at what is taking place.
The Boy no longer fearful even a little confident begins to try and stare down the eyes of the Void. A mistake boy. Wrong my son. The Void wanted this to happen. A monstrous and hideous laugh is excreted by the VOID when the Boy seems to have got too confident. The Void stares at the boy with fury and the boy in complete terror averts them again.
The Void moves away from the cliff and slips down into the ocean. It spreads out into a very wide circle. All Attempts at Utopia have failed. Now the hordes can only wish for their own destruction. They need no reason. The boy first and the most pained of all takes his time then falls into the Abyss that is there before him. A pause. Then in lines the rest of the human race in tread towards their destiny.
To finally drop into the Smiling Void and Be free of Existence forever.
He picks up the ball. Focusing on the basket. Attempting correction for all possible outcomes, once twice and now again. He finally looks hard and fast at the basket. Looks down at the ball. This time in minutae careful measurement he raises his torso and lifts the arms in one perfect motion eyes bulge open and he takes the shot.
In slow motion. The balls parabolic trajectory seems to be right on the mark , it slowly spins through the tense air. The shot is on track as it approaches the basket.
Very slow motion. The ball very slowly reaches the hoop. it is going in. There is even a hint of a smile in the boy. The ball is going in. its going in!!
But a shudder deep and celestial reverberates and chills their bones and cracks the walls and shakes the hoop.
"What was that then?"
" Ive seen this once before ' a greybeard announces.
" The Void Smiles At The Boy!"
He has missed the shot.
Three days Later
Midnight Storms blow heavily across the fields and the oceans redblooded rage against the shore.
Masses of people herdlike tread towards the ocean cliffs against the gales, inanimate and mechanically. The first lines of the herds approach the cliff and suddenly stop.
The boy is there at the very front. He alone steps to the very edge of the abyss. He raises his head into the gale and stares out into the vast horizon. It is a beautiful sight. He breathes in the heavy waves of air blowing . The redblood sea shines like a luminous grand spectacle. The bloodlight reflects in his eyes and cheeks.
A sudden great loud yawn causes them all to press hands to ears.
Near the bottom of the cliff exactly below the boy a whirlpool of black nothing begins to swirl. Its edges rise up the cliff. The swirl of nothing black as midnight seems to hover and sneer at the boy. It looks at the herds and smiles. Somehow eyes form upon the VOId and turning to the boy he is forced to stare at them. The boy terrified looks away. For some reason he begins to calm and he finally turns to The VOID. The Void And the Boy just stare at each other, not in anger but in some kind of wrestle. The hordes look up from their hypnotic state in great wonderment at what is taking place.
The Boy no longer fearful even a little confident begins to try and stare down the eyes of the Void. A mistake boy. Wrong my son. The Void wanted this to happen. A monstrous and hideous laugh is excreted by the VOID when the Boy seems to have got too confident. The Void stares at the boy with fury and the boy in complete terror averts them again.
The Void moves away from the cliff and slips down into the ocean. It spreads out into a very wide circle. All Attempts at Utopia have failed. Now the hordes can only wish for their own destruction. They need no reason. The boy first and the most pained of all takes his time then falls into the Abyss that is there before him. A pause. Then in lines the rest of the human race in tread towards their destiny.
To finally drop into the Smiling Void and Be free of Existence forever.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
MY DEAR LADY- redux
He flicked his long brown fringe out of his left blue eye. He looked to the heavens for a repreive from the devastation and apocalypse engorging itself on his perception. Around he scanned to make sure he was alone . He knew the people had gone but when. He had to make sure. Yes . He was alone. He screamed like Fury.
Dropped . The sand like Valium was frozen. Damn deserts.
Turned his gaze to the sky. Holy Lord he saw implosions of blue atmosphere, levels of placental pure azure enfolding in upon itself. Swirls of clouds immersed itself in explosive collapse. He flicked back his fringe again. Rubbed his eyes. "MY GOD!" What happened? Did I do something ? What was it that I did? A certain unwanted stubborn type of guilt began to seep up his spine and into his cancerous bowels.
The sun was setting blown out of all proportion . Its size equaling the planet. No heat though. Just blinding light. blood orange. Like flesh and blood. Eyelid skin felt melting in the light.
The sky was now vermillion . Yes bloodred. Like a sickening deadly heartbreak.
Half the world was now in night.
Weighed down by colossal shame with his last ounce of inner strength he looked to the West horizon.
What?! Another ! Wings of aN Angel?!!
He rubbed his blurring eyes.
A silhouette of a mighty outstretched angel . Angel of the West
Each time he had the strength to look up she seemed closer until she finally stood monolithic before him.
His soul howled.
To himself whispered " My fucking God it is her she has come to destroy me. Why? Why did I fuck with the laws of True Love? Why did I ? Why??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A voice, more heavenly and beautiful than Light whispered " I was sent for. I will not destroy you. Forgive yourself."
The man looked up to the angel, her eyes. She was her. He broke her heart. Its HEr!!!!!!!!!! His Tears flowed forth. His sobbing resounded throughout the universe. He cried till all his water gone. " forgive me!!"
The Angel voice whispered " I forgive you. ..... I love you."
Tears of blood waterfalled upon the sand. HE smiled and howled " MY DEAR LADY"
Collapsed in black and dead. A dead smile.
The angel lifted the guilt filled corpse and flew to the Sun.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Voice of the future
I speak to you directly from my darkest nightmares and vermillion prophecy.
Listen. It is a dark intuition.
the future yells great upheaval .
A Vile thief.
CHaos.
A demon he smiles. Out of his shadow.
He steps into the Order.
Chaos wondrous and maddening
A friend with a fiends delight.
it is the Hour.
Destroyd but not distraught
For I see
A lark. mourning in the morning.
Dew, nights tears
shine in the first sunrise.
Of the LAst Night
Paradise.
Now. Time of ThunDER.
He Mighty stands Alone above the CLouds.
The End.
Listen. It is a dark intuition.
the future yells great upheaval .
A Vile thief.
CHaos.
A demon he smiles. Out of his shadow.
He steps into the Order.
Chaos wondrous and maddening
A friend with a fiends delight.
it is the Hour.
Destroyd but not distraught
For I see
A lark. mourning in the morning.
Dew, nights tears
shine in the first sunrise.
Of the LAst Night
Paradise.
Now. Time of ThunDER.
He Mighty stands Alone above the CLouds.
Smiles. For we are No More
The End.
Monday, June 28, 2010
I love andreas baader- the last chapter
Ulrike and Andreas ran back to the fellowship. Time to act. Everyone grabbed as many weapons as they could carry. The dwarves pushed the others out of the way to be the first. These werent cute juggling dwarves anymore. They were ugly angry murderous juggling dwarves now. One of the littlest ones even pounded his chest in a show of battle readiness. They smelt blood and they felt engorged.. We all became like that.
Andreas then gathered us in a circle.. He looked deeply into each of our eyes one by one with beautiful mad brooding eyes. I blushed. We all blushed.. He was so goddam unbridled. I thought he was going to ready us for the task ahead but it was unbelievable. When he looked at his mad band of heroes something inside him broke especially after one of the dwarves gave him the V for victory sign (which Andreas could barely make out the fingers were so small).
Andreas started to sob. He collapsed into a bundle on the street. Just Staring and sobbing at the ground shamefaced.. Grabbing his hair in exasperation.
"I cant do this"
I cant let any of you do this"
"I wont murder these foul pigs"
"I just wont"
"I dont want my beautiful juggling dwarves to die", he sputtered. One of the dwarves couldnt help himself he burst out crying as well like a puppy with its tail caught in the door.
We all stood there there with our bombs, grenades and machine guns stunned.
Woman rolled her eyes.
"You bitch andreas. You always do this."
" It doesnt matter. You have been chosen and predestined to do this. It has already been written."
" But inside I am really just a peacelover. I just want to be an ordinary hippy. I want to smoke pot and be happy and fuck all summerlong while listening to Bob Dylan with burning frankincense incense. ... Oh yeah and I would love to drop acid. alot" Andreas whimpered
" Dont fuck with history andreas!. get the fuck up and lets kill these fucking pigs!" Woman shouted
Still staring at the ground entangled in emotion he did not move. But then a fast sudden body jerk.
Like some mysterious sudden transformation Andreas shot up. His eyes were dry and he was himself. Without a word he employed all the weapons he could carry. He looked at the restaurant across the road where the bankers were dining.
Like a king he shouted out " Lets go kill us some filthy motherfucking banker swine!!"
I love Andreas Baader. I always will.
The dwarves all yelped with joy in unison. Barby kissed him. I waited for him. He looked up at me. He knew what I wanted. He walked over and kissed me on the forehead
" Till the end my brother"
"Till the end" I whispered in his ear. Barby sneered .
A restaurant full of people. Stuffing their rich mouths. One of the best restaurants in Europe. The bankers all seated at one huge table laughing and indulging like filthy swine. There were ten. One of them the fattest and most smug lifted his arm to call the waiter for more wine.
"Er excuse me excuse me waiter. ... waiter! wait....errrrr". He didnt finish the sentence for at that moment a bullet blew out half his brain which landed on the truffles. The first shot fired by the smallest juggling dwarf went straight to its target. With the machine gun still planted against his little head he smirked in bloody satisfaction.
" Oh no, not the truffles" one of the other bankers screamed"
"Oh shit" another said.
"Waiter can you please come over and clean this idiots mess up" the waiter looked aghast.
"But sirs he has just had his head blown off"
"What is your point waiter. Just clean this up" the waiter ran to the kitchen and out the back door.
Andreas burst throught the doors like a madman.Scanned the room and found his targets. He joyntully skipped up to the bankers, pushed one and his plates contemptuosly out of the way and jumped up on the table. He looked down at them all in disgust one by one. He raised his machine gun, pointed it at the drinking banker in front of him and fired like fuck into him. The head flew clean off. Blood gushed everywhere.
" What do you want andreas cant you leave us alone to eat?" one of the irritated bankers said,
Andreas looked at him in amazement.
" Are you fucking serious pig?".
" Im asking to please allow us to enjoy our meal"
Andreas looked at him with such menacing insane hatred the Devil smiled.
So enraged, Andreas pulled out a grenade flipped the pin and grabbed the idiots face, and proceeded to ram it down the bastards throat. Andreas dived away. The banker exploded into pieces all over the other bankers and the other diners. The bankers just looked and silently continued to drink and eat away.
Andreas got up. Suddenly a shot rang out from the foyer. It hit Andreas and he fell. It was one of their bodyguards. The fellowship who were beseiging the rest of the restauarant all ran over. Barby reached him first.
She held him. "My Love"
The four dwarves went ballistic. They started firing in all directions at anyone. People were being blown away everywhere. Woman joined in the chaos and threw grenades at anyone as well. The humans were all just pieces of flesh and bone on food or on the floor. I picked out the bodyguard who shot Andreas.I took a good aim at the bodyguards forehead and shot a missile straight into his head which blew into pieces. But as this happened more of them arrived
Andreas was hurt but he got up. Kissed Barbie felt her cute ass and started firing at anyone as well. One of the bodyguards took out one of the dwarves and then another and then another and then another. My God they were all shot down dead like some realistic gungame at the circus. The remains of the fellowship ran to them but it couldnt be. There were no little juggling dwarf bodies. Woman suddenly realised she was not the only one. They shifted their position in the time space continuum. They didnt just juggle after all. Andreas smiled. I smiled. Barby looked confused.
There were still some bankers alive. They got up from the floor and went back to their table and started eating again. This time Woman took the opportunity. She raised her massive weapon and turned the last banker into a mess of blood and bone. She smiled. A policeman who ran in whimpering took a lucky shot and somehow hit Woman right in the head. I threw the rest of my grenades at the policeman. He exploded. Andreas, Barby and I used up the last of our ammunition on the few surviving diners. It was wonderful. It was sexual. I was in divine ecstacy. We all looked out the window and saw that the cops had the place surrounded.
"What now?" Barby asked in terror
.Andreas like some demigod just looked at her and smiled.
" We're going out the front door. Dont ask questions just do it"
I love Andreas Baader
Like a slaughterhouse the restaurant floor was covered with human flesh and bone. The confused stunned police paralysed by what they had witnessed waded to the kitchen in a foot of blood screaming the whole time.
We walked, no strutted out the front door. Cops surrounded the restaurant. There were hundreds.
"Put up your hands or we will fire"
We kept walking.
" We're warning you one last time. Put up your hands!"
Andreas signalled to stop. We stopped. Hundreds of guns pointing in silence. Dead quiet. Time lurched.
It was too much.
"It's time to give yourselves up!"
Long silence.
Then an anamoly. Andreas raised his head to the heavens, a strange light shone on him from above and in the voice of an angel he harked the most purest holiest divine perfect poem in the history of mankind. ( I am not at liberty to divulge the words for they are not mine to divulge). Time stopped.
He then signaled to us to walk on . We walked on past the police past the bystanders and out to freedom. The police did nothing in the dead silence. They could not move or speak.
2010: Two people sit in a Parisian cafe. The man handsome, the woman painfully beautiful. They smile at one another. They kiss and hold hands. Another man walks by and smiles and waves to them. The man winks the woman smiles. In the square four juggling dwarves perform to a crowd of lame worldlings. The handsome man walking, waves to the dwarves as well. They dont wave back for they are juggling. But they blow him a kiss. All in unison.
At the cafe the man says to the painfully beautiful woman
" I think its time for a revolution baby."
The woman smiles " I love you Andreas Baader"
I
Andreas then gathered us in a circle.. He looked deeply into each of our eyes one by one with beautiful mad brooding eyes. I blushed. We all blushed.. He was so goddam unbridled. I thought he was going to ready us for the task ahead but it was unbelievable. When he looked at his mad band of heroes something inside him broke especially after one of the dwarves gave him the V for victory sign (which Andreas could barely make out the fingers were so small).
Andreas started to sob. He collapsed into a bundle on the street. Just Staring and sobbing at the ground shamefaced.. Grabbing his hair in exasperation.
"I cant do this"
I cant let any of you do this"
"I wont murder these foul pigs"
"I just wont"
"I dont want my beautiful juggling dwarves to die", he sputtered. One of the dwarves couldnt help himself he burst out crying as well like a puppy with its tail caught in the door.
We all stood there there with our bombs, grenades and machine guns stunned.
Woman rolled her eyes.
"You bitch andreas. You always do this."
" It doesnt matter. You have been chosen and predestined to do this. It has already been written."
" But inside I am really just a peacelover. I just want to be an ordinary hippy. I want to smoke pot and be happy and fuck all summerlong while listening to Bob Dylan with burning frankincense incense. ... Oh yeah and I would love to drop acid. alot" Andreas whimpered
" Dont fuck with history andreas!. get the fuck up and lets kill these fucking pigs!" Woman shouted
Still staring at the ground entangled in emotion he did not move. But then a fast sudden body jerk.
Like some mysterious sudden transformation Andreas shot up. His eyes were dry and he was himself. Without a word he employed all the weapons he could carry. He looked at the restaurant across the road where the bankers were dining.
Like a king he shouted out " Lets go kill us some filthy motherfucking banker swine!!"
I love Andreas Baader. I always will.
The dwarves all yelped with joy in unison. Barby kissed him. I waited for him. He looked up at me. He knew what I wanted. He walked over and kissed me on the forehead
" Till the end my brother"
"Till the end" I whispered in his ear. Barby sneered .
A restaurant full of people. Stuffing their rich mouths. One of the best restaurants in Europe. The bankers all seated at one huge table laughing and indulging like filthy swine. There were ten. One of them the fattest and most smug lifted his arm to call the waiter for more wine.
"Er excuse me excuse me waiter. ... waiter! wait....errrrr". He didnt finish the sentence for at that moment a bullet blew out half his brain which landed on the truffles. The first shot fired by the smallest juggling dwarf went straight to its target. With the machine gun still planted against his little head he smirked in bloody satisfaction.
" Oh no, not the truffles" one of the other bankers screamed"
"Oh shit" another said.
"Waiter can you please come over and clean this idiots mess up" the waiter looked aghast.
"But sirs he has just had his head blown off"
"What is your point waiter. Just clean this up" the waiter ran to the kitchen and out the back door.
Andreas burst throught the doors like a madman.Scanned the room and found his targets. He joyntully skipped up to the bankers, pushed one and his plates contemptuosly out of the way and jumped up on the table. He looked down at them all in disgust one by one. He raised his machine gun, pointed it at the drinking banker in front of him and fired like fuck into him. The head flew clean off. Blood gushed everywhere.
" What do you want andreas cant you leave us alone to eat?" one of the irritated bankers said,
Andreas looked at him in amazement.
" Are you fucking serious pig?".
" Im asking to please allow us to enjoy our meal"
Andreas looked at him with such menacing insane hatred the Devil smiled.
So enraged, Andreas pulled out a grenade flipped the pin and grabbed the idiots face, and proceeded to ram it down the bastards throat. Andreas dived away. The banker exploded into pieces all over the other bankers and the other diners. The bankers just looked and silently continued to drink and eat away.
Andreas got up. Suddenly a shot rang out from the foyer. It hit Andreas and he fell. It was one of their bodyguards. The fellowship who were beseiging the rest of the restauarant all ran over. Barby reached him first.
She held him. "My Love"
The four dwarves went ballistic. They started firing in all directions at anyone. People were being blown away everywhere. Woman joined in the chaos and threw grenades at anyone as well. The humans were all just pieces of flesh and bone on food or on the floor. I picked out the bodyguard who shot Andreas.I took a good aim at the bodyguards forehead and shot a missile straight into his head which blew into pieces. But as this happened more of them arrived
Andreas was hurt but he got up. Kissed Barbie felt her cute ass and started firing at anyone as well. One of the bodyguards took out one of the dwarves and then another and then another and then another. My God they were all shot down dead like some realistic gungame at the circus. The remains of the fellowship ran to them but it couldnt be. There were no little juggling dwarf bodies. Woman suddenly realised she was not the only one. They shifted their position in the time space continuum. They didnt just juggle after all. Andreas smiled. I smiled. Barby looked confused.
There were still some bankers alive. They got up from the floor and went back to their table and started eating again. This time Woman took the opportunity. She raised her massive weapon and turned the last banker into a mess of blood and bone. She smiled. A policeman who ran in whimpering took a lucky shot and somehow hit Woman right in the head. I threw the rest of my grenades at the policeman. He exploded. Andreas, Barby and I used up the last of our ammunition on the few surviving diners. It was wonderful. It was sexual. I was in divine ecstacy. We all looked out the window and saw that the cops had the place surrounded.
"What now?" Barby asked in terror
.Andreas like some demigod just looked at her and smiled.
" We're going out the front door. Dont ask questions just do it"
I love Andreas Baader
Like a slaughterhouse the restaurant floor was covered with human flesh and bone. The confused stunned police paralysed by what they had witnessed waded to the kitchen in a foot of blood screaming the whole time.
We walked, no strutted out the front door. Cops surrounded the restaurant. There were hundreds.
"Put up your hands or we will fire"
We kept walking.
" We're warning you one last time. Put up your hands!"
Andreas signalled to stop. We stopped. Hundreds of guns pointing in silence. Dead quiet. Time lurched.
It was too much.
"It's time to give yourselves up!"
Long silence.
Then an anamoly. Andreas raised his head to the heavens, a strange light shone on him from above and in the voice of an angel he harked the most purest holiest divine perfect poem in the history of mankind. ( I am not at liberty to divulge the words for they are not mine to divulge). Time stopped.
He then signaled to us to walk on . We walked on past the police past the bystanders and out to freedom. The police did nothing in the dead silence. They could not move or speak.
2010: Two people sit in a Parisian cafe. The man handsome, the woman painfully beautiful. They smile at one another. They kiss and hold hands. Another man walks by and smiles and waves to them. The man winks the woman smiles. In the square four juggling dwarves perform to a crowd of lame worldlings. The handsome man walking, waves to the dwarves as well. They dont wave back for they are juggling. But they blow him a kiss. All in unison.
At the cafe the man says to the painfully beautiful woman
" I think its time for a revolution baby."
The woman smiles " I love you Andreas Baader"
I
Sunday, June 27, 2010
I love andreas baader - possibly the last chapter.
It was finally time to get down to business. The fucked up midnight romancing was over . The poor juggling dwarves didnt like that one bit. Andreas had finally made contact with his contact, Underground Man. I was over the moon. A break in the time-space continuum permitted this. Its true. So At last the use of true force against the evil bankers. The fuckers blanketing the innocent millions in pure darkness since the inception of the Free Market whose beginning a few years after the year Adam Smiths book on the 'free hand' everyone read and completely misunderstood. Instead of reading his book on ethics . It was TIME, my brethren! The four dwarf jugglers had now channelled their extreme sexual angst into a maniacal hatred for anything with the word bank in it. Andreas and his charm had won them over since Andreas against every surly fibre in his body had tenderly kissed them all on the forehead so they could fall asleep unfazed. I love Andreas Baader.
" Get your shit together boys. This fucker is going down. Underground Man told me where a group of bankers will be in an hour"
" What about us?" Barbie the Tribeswoman whined in.
"Oh fuck no women!. ..... wait. Strike that reverse it. This is the 70's isnt it. Shit I forgot. Ok your coming" said AndreaS.
Barbie smiled at his change of heart.
" Hang on I aint going anywhere. My makeup will get spoilt?" piped in Starlet one
" Fuck off then darling" Andreas shot back so sarcastically and with such a comic flair bowed her exit on that the four juggling dwarves burst out laughing who for the last time undressed Starlet One with their eyes as she and her sweet hot ass walked off in the direction of the coming Apocalypse.
Exeunt Starlet one
Andreas grabbed Barbie by the hand .
"Lets do this my love"
She was beaming. I and the four dwarves eyed off Barbie jealously. Goddam it he always does this. Goddam Andreas and his lovable charm. The motherfucker. God I love Andreas Baader. God the four juggling dwarves love Andreas Baader.
We walked swiftly. We got to the location. I couldnt believe my eyes I saw the four juggling dwarves juggling on the corner of our intended location as if mocking the concept of linear time. I looked behind me expecting to see them there but alas they had somehow flown through time. Andreas and Barbie looked at me bugeyed. I returned the look. Silence. There was more to these dwarves than just juggling. We were sure of that.
When the dwarves saw us come they stopped juggling and ran with small steps to give us all a big hug. Those sweet goddam little bastards. They walked us over to a large skip bin.
Inside was a huge array of bombs and machine guns and juggling equipment.
"Wheres Underground Man?' Andreas asked
The leader whom we now know as Celtigar replied " He had to go help his mother with her crossword puzzle"
" Not again'
Celtigar announced " There is a woman behind that door". (No other names of dwarves shall be uttered on these pages for a curse would be unleashed on all who read the four names in one sitting). he pointed to a medieval red door that looked out of time and space.
"She says she know you" Celtigar whispered. Barbie sneered.
Andreas pulled a machine gun from the bin. He began towards the red door.
The four dwarves all held each other with tiny shakes in expectation.
I knew who she was though. She was and always will be. Her name will only be said once. Ulrike.
Andreas had by this time reached the door. He slowly put his hand on the knob. He turned it. It opened slowly. No body. He couldnt see anybody.
" Hey boyfriend"
Andreas looked up. On the ceiling Ulrike stood upside down. ( I know her name would only be said once but well i was wrong)
Andreas beamed.
"There you are"
" Ive just come from 1789. Everything went to plan"
"Goodo baby. Now lets do this job."
"Ok"
" Get your shit together boys. This fucker is going down. Underground Man told me where a group of bankers will be in an hour"
" What about us?" Barbie the Tribeswoman whined in.
"Oh fuck no women!. ..... wait. Strike that reverse it. This is the 70's isnt it. Shit I forgot. Ok your coming" said AndreaS.
Barbie smiled at his change of heart.
" Hang on I aint going anywhere. My makeup will get spoilt?" piped in Starlet one
" Fuck off then darling" Andreas shot back so sarcastically and with such a comic flair bowed her exit on that the four juggling dwarves burst out laughing who for the last time undressed Starlet One with their eyes as she and her sweet hot ass walked off in the direction of the coming Apocalypse.
Exeunt Starlet one
Andreas grabbed Barbie by the hand .
"Lets do this my love"
She was beaming. I and the four dwarves eyed off Barbie jealously. Goddam it he always does this. Goddam Andreas and his lovable charm. The motherfucker. God I love Andreas Baader. God the four juggling dwarves love Andreas Baader.
We walked swiftly. We got to the location. I couldnt believe my eyes I saw the four juggling dwarves juggling on the corner of our intended location as if mocking the concept of linear time. I looked behind me expecting to see them there but alas they had somehow flown through time. Andreas and Barbie looked at me bugeyed. I returned the look. Silence. There was more to these dwarves than just juggling. We were sure of that.
When the dwarves saw us come they stopped juggling and ran with small steps to give us all a big hug. Those sweet goddam little bastards. They walked us over to a large skip bin.
Inside was a huge array of bombs and machine guns and juggling equipment.
"Wheres Underground Man?' Andreas asked
The leader whom we now know as Celtigar replied " He had to go help his mother with her crossword puzzle"
" Not again'
Celtigar announced " There is a woman behind that door". (No other names of dwarves shall be uttered on these pages for a curse would be unleashed on all who read the four names in one sitting). he pointed to a medieval red door that looked out of time and space.
"She says she know you" Celtigar whispered. Barbie sneered.
Andreas pulled a machine gun from the bin. He began towards the red door.
The four dwarves all held each other with tiny shakes in expectation.
I knew who she was though. She was and always will be. Her name will only be said once. Ulrike.
Andreas had by this time reached the door. He slowly put his hand on the knob. He turned it. It opened slowly. No body. He couldnt see anybody.
" Hey boyfriend"
Andreas looked up. On the ceiling Ulrike stood upside down. ( I know her name would only be said once but well i was wrong)
Andreas beamed.
"There you are"
" Ive just come from 1789. Everything went to plan"
"Goodo baby. Now lets do this job."
"Ok"
Monday, June 14, 2010
brother of dread
stagnating. A Monument. Staring Into the unknown. WAtchers. Not frightened of light. I run away. To be gone.
Lost.
I saw such a shocking vision of despair : Brother Dread stands by me. He stands by me. He will stand by me, Brother Dread.
Rejected . Hide in shame and humiliation. It covers like water. A wave of emotion. . A heavy sea.
Be brave. Be a fighting man. laugh at the sorrow. man of constant sorrow.
Brother Dread whispers" Where were you last night?"
" I went for a drive , Tyre blew out!"
He whispers "did you have a spare?" .
Sweat pours off my temples.
Insane shadowboxer. Lonely is a choice. A man who knew . Not to fight . In victorious flannel.
Leaned quivering with insight. Thinking of fast cars. An indestructible disease. Insanity. Predestined friend of Space and Time.
Eternal.
vainglorious and ultrafashionable, he thought
The dishes need to be washed again. But still the Smart alek desire to be the president
Once bloodthirsty for Love. All now lost to Inescapable despair, a trembling Romantic.
Lost.
I saw such a shocking vision of despair : Brother Dread stands by me. He stands by me. He will stand by me, Brother Dread.
Rejected . Hide in shame and humiliation. It covers like water. A wave of emotion. . A heavy sea.
Be brave. Be a fighting man. laugh at the sorrow. man of constant sorrow.
Brother Dread whispers" Where were you last night?"
" I went for a drive , Tyre blew out!"
He whispers "did you have a spare?" .
Sweat pours off my temples.
Insane shadowboxer. Lonely is a choice. A man who knew . Not to fight . In victorious flannel.
Leaned quivering with insight. Thinking of fast cars. An indestructible disease. Insanity. Predestined friend of Space and Time.
Eternal.
vainglorious and ultrafashionable, he thought
The dishes need to be washed again. But still the Smart alek desire to be the president
Once bloodthirsty for Love. All now lost to Inescapable despair, a trembling Romantic.
Speeding on the abandoned spiritual superhighway . Bang the direction twofisted in agony. In Step to the beat of gastrointestinal heartbreak.
Just a journalist of overindulgent self interest. Oh The pen dont work again. .
Sophisticated despondence unravelled by luck. Redblooded regression to warriortoy. Use tissues, be regular and polite and all the worlds yours.
Sophisticated despondence unravelled by luck. Redblooded regression to warriortoy. Use tissues, be regular and polite and all the worlds yours.
Obligated to mutilate health. From an empty wallet he withdraws his last notes. You need milk and bread. Put it in the fridge.
Warm hearts in his locality freeze.
Brother Dread. Oh brother
Let me mineralise into a monument.
A heroic netherman.
Let me mineralise into a monument.
A heroic netherman.
Go now brother.
People wave .
Children run home
SPIRIT AWAY
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
baabaa black sheep
They all just sat there and glared. Unseeing and perverse in their moral judments. Anticipating and participating in only the uttlerly banal.. oh you good good sheep. If your so good why do you let yourself be led such a bad shepherd? Confronted by a dreamer living in the future you sit back and glare. Like sheep. BAaabaaabaabaabaabaabaabaaabaabaabaabaabaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabbbbabababbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb
Ignorance is bliss. Little brains need little thoughts. Insights of infinite magnitude terrify your woolly souls. Fucking sheep fucking sheep why do you always ignore me?
There they all sat. he at the front on the medieval hill staring out over the peasant town with gay abandon. A vanquished dreamer who was once their leader lay motionless, demoralised by failure of the commonpeople to heed the tyrants mad warnings.He lulled in the verdant green brook like John Keats on heroin dying to make contact with popular minds. The sheep whisper " hes too dark. hes too upsetting. hes so flipping immoral"
Finally acknowleding ther utter futility of spiritualising the retarded. he turns to the chestnut cow and screams " ignorance is bliss" chestnut cow concurs and continues to chew the oh so green grass.
He thinks back on his time as a foetus in the sunlit womb. Putting out his foetal finger as a non human to touch the sun. The sleepy warmth fills his head with toxic dreams of the horrors that are to come when he must leave this sunny pool and face the derelict sheep who are so stupid and sallow like the feilds."
times up the tv is on again
bloodREDwhite: I love andreas baader part 2
toneboss.facebook.com. bloodREDwhite: I love andreas baader part 2
I love andreas baader part 2
Dear andreas Oh how I do dearly love you, you wonderful antiestablishment heroic warrior. I love you for destroying all those capitalist stongholds in the 70's , no one came to help and you and sweet Ulrike and sexy Gudrun were left to do all the dirty work while those silent watchers who took no action silebntly wished you won but couldnt present like heros. What was it Horst said about you the supergang of anticapitalist terrorists " It was six against six million.". I love you Andreas.
The babyfaced dwarf jugglers pressed smugly against each other as they bugeyed and smiling watched Andreas make a very serious phone call.l yes a very serious phone call. They understood that and they didnt make a sound. Except for the dwarf in the middle who while watching with wild curiosity Andreas' every move suddenly sneezed loudly.
I watched on old Yugo sputter past. I fancied now that Andreas made contact we would be finalising plans for our next attack on those filthy pigherd bankers. Alas aghast I stood and stared in astonishment at him as he started to make quick chat and laugh with obviously some lady on the other line. THe lazy bastard wants to watch the four dwasf jugglers go apeshit over Starlet One who he somehow has made contact with.
Midnight the next day.
Andreas and I were watching the lovely ladies walk up and down busy Berlin city nights. They were of course only waiting for the one and only, Starlet One. You should have seen them, four cleaned and pampered red shirted four dwarf jugglers all excited to the bone. They even put on a wonderful cute juggling show at 11pm in Karlmarx Strass. They were just too excited to just sit and wait.
Just then not one but two beautiful blonde bombshells appeared like angels of light from the foggy night. The band of merry makers jumped as high as they could which wasnt very high. The two approached and Starlet one introduced herself as Starlet One. Andreas as usual went in hard with a big kiss and a hug. I was much more controlled and just kissed her on the cheek and slapped her on the ass. It was all in good fun. Oh God the dwarves were uncontainable they were shaking with sheer anxiety.
Starlety One walked up to them and said " OH How Cute" The dwarves didint like being patronised but they dismissed it immediately as they were getting closer to the only sexual excitement they would ever have. They all smiled beamingly as lovely Starlet One gave them all abig huge kiss on the forehead. Theyw ere smiling for days after.
But who in the hell was the new lady. Andreas being the great hero warrior he was walked straight up to her and said politely as all hell " Hi lovely woman my name is Andreas. " She looked him up and down. Paused. Brushed her beautiful staight blond hair back and whispered' My name is Barbie the Tribeswoman" All the dwarves all just shivered. I even had to brace my arms in anticipation. Oh oh oh this was was hot hot hot. Pity the poor misguided fool who took her charms for granted. I even tried to get a word in and said " Hi Barbie my name is Tone" She quickly shot back
"Barbie the tribeswoman '
"sorry of course of course darling." Goddam it I defered to her , man oh man she will think Im weak and submissive. But shes wrong so wrong. I love to take possession of the beautiful blonde and make her all mine. But Im just anxious when I first meet them. Thats all.
Anyway Andreas was off kissing beautiful Starlet One in front of the horribly jealous dwarves. They were waiting for her beautiful obsession to take place and their red shirts would at last permit their first and only sexual encounter.
I put my arm around Barbie the Tribeswoman and she immediately smacked it off. It was going to be a fucking long night. I just wanted to kill some bankers thats all. But look at me. Me Sitting here with four juggling dwarves all horny as fuck.
I love Andreas. The lucky bastard.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I love andreas baader
Dear andreas
Remember when in the soft warm autumn of Berlin we went a walking out . I glimpsed in you; a hunger. You raged for love. You raged for love from an absent father. you yearned for deep fatherly love. a love greater than the fatherland. Fate refused. you looked like you were meant to be somebody. You looked hungry for the love of The FAther laND, Yes you were a fool but you were more so much more. I cry now when these memories flood MY BAnks. You were so sad. ANd weary. at age 17 you bludgeoned your best friends uncle into a pulp for callling you a bastard. I love you andreas baader.
Whence from the shoulder of the sunlit hill lurched four dwarf jugglers from Romania. I asked you andreas yes I asked you what can a superior terrorist organistaion superior to all modern german strategic defenses what could such a superb group of ultra freedom fighters do with a quadruple of Romanian dwarf jugglers.
You looked deep deep into my burning eyes and said so silently and sweetly " They can help us over the walls!!!" po faced like an innocent child. I yelped in reflex surprise. People sniggered. I grunted . you snorted.. some cocaine. we were all good. I had a snort just for safeties.
I love cocaine dont you sheep? baabababaababababbaaaaaaaa
The dwarves like beautiful children followed us. Yes us. They were not as innocent as youd think they had taken part in a 1967 demonstration against DRUID whose name amounted to the translation as unethical treatment of jugglers of the dwarf size.Some of their fellow dwarf jugglers were killed in the titanic struggle. theres no irony intended there.
andreas always kissed me on the forehead when he said " goodnightz'. tonight was no different from any other. He came at vespers and proceeded to seal another of his otherwordly kisses on my forehead. I smiled. I looked toward the dwarves. They were looking up in anticipation of some further course from andreas. He looked at me bemused.
" whats all this about then
i think the dwarves want something my andreas
what do the dwarves want tone
i think the dwarves want their midnight kiss too
but ive never met them before. i GODDAM DONT KNOW WHO THE FUCK THESE FUCKERS ARE
settle down andreas
settle down
what the fuck
the dwarves were very upset by this outburst
they started to kind of yelp like litle puppies.
I started to weep
Andreaas couldnt take it anymore. He grabbed each of the dwarves by the armpits lifted them up to his lips and kissed them on the forehead. in exactly the same spot I recieved my midnight kiss.
The dwarves fell asleep minutes later.
Andreas looked up surly, looked at me and then smiled cheekily.
I wil always love andreas for that
The next day we were on a mission to kill those dirty filthy swine fucking no good evil bankers. I for one couldnt wait to see their blood spill. Filthy fucking parasites. Fuckin bankers, it was pure bloodlust. Even after all these years I dont feel guilty. those cunts should all be dead.
Fascinating, we each opened our sour eyes at the same time raised our heads at exactly the same height looking at the other opposite and then suddenly burst into laughter. a dwarves laugh is much like an angry gooses. I looked over at Andreas who was actually right next to me. He stared quite strangely with a dangerous lilt. I flinched like a girl and he punched me in the chest and I trying to present as if it didnt hurt, laughed along in complete betrayal of my own deep and unvalidated wounded child. I wont lie. oh no not I. Thief and Liar, Tone. I can tell you very honestly well it didnt hurt. I just made that up because this had to be said. I know you are struggling with the course of this story but you see i have interrupted the narrative flow to anger your sensitive perceptions and make you possibly feel the deep hurt and anger at the invalidation I was at the mercy of in these our sad sorry times. I demanded a recount and was blindly dismissed by all including those cute but nastly juggling dwarves you are all so fond of by now. And onwards we continue.
In the meantime i heard one of the dwarves mention the name of an actress who liked to have sexual encounters with strangers who wore red shirts at the time of her fancy taking control (the next day all the dwarves wore red shirts). One of the dwarves looked deadly serious. the other seemed to be moving his hand nonchalantly around his crotch for some unknown reason. Dwarves are actually dickless. I learnt that from my doctor friend. This doctor preferred to remain anonymous. But fuck him. You and I the people of The United Depths Of Dementia all know him as the ever popular and always entertaining, Dr. Feelgood. The best doctor of all. Why I hear some ignorant fool ask itself? Because you ignorant fool he gives you the drugs you ask for, not the ones that cant alter your state of mind.
Dr Feelgood if you read this I am very sorry but his had to be done. I have moved from my old address so no you cant come over and bludgeon my large brains out.
The name of the actress was Starlet One.
She was siting alone at the Cafe Downunder sipping on her flappucino. She wore a stunning red dress that made mad bulls in the market even angrier. She held the pose of a very confident and untouchable movie . star. Yes I know, she is one. What Im trying to say corrector, is that she would have held that pose even if she wasnt one you interrupting idiot. There are many voices but only one true light.
She sat leaning to one side smoking on a cigarello like a french film actress. Dont go there corrector!. She sat smiling occasionally to herself looking at her watch intermittently as if she was waiting for somebody. Only she knew there was no one coming. She was alone. She sat alone. She was like.... lonely.
Remember when in the soft warm autumn of Berlin we went a walking out . I glimpsed in you; a hunger. You raged for love. You raged for love from an absent father. you yearned for deep fatherly love. a love greater than the fatherland. Fate refused. you looked like you were meant to be somebody. You looked hungry for the love of The FAther laND, Yes you were a fool but you were more so much more. I cry now when these memories flood MY BAnks. You were so sad. ANd weary. at age 17 you bludgeoned your best friends uncle into a pulp for callling you a bastard. I love you andreas baader.
Whence from the shoulder of the sunlit hill lurched four dwarf jugglers from Romania. I asked you andreas yes I asked you what can a superior terrorist organistaion superior to all modern german strategic defenses what could such a superb group of ultra freedom fighters do with a quadruple of Romanian dwarf jugglers.
You looked deep deep into my burning eyes and said so silently and sweetly " They can help us over the walls!!!" po faced like an innocent child. I yelped in reflex surprise. People sniggered. I grunted . you snorted.. some cocaine. we were all good. I had a snort just for safeties.
I love cocaine dont you sheep? baabababaababababbaaaaaaaa
The dwarves like beautiful children followed us. Yes us. They were not as innocent as youd think they had taken part in a 1967 demonstration against DRUID whose name amounted to the translation as unethical treatment of jugglers of the dwarf size.Some of their fellow dwarf jugglers were killed in the titanic struggle. theres no irony intended there.
andreas always kissed me on the forehead when he said " goodnightz'. tonight was no different from any other. He came at vespers and proceeded to seal another of his otherwordly kisses on my forehead. I smiled. I looked toward the dwarves. They were looking up in anticipation of some further course from andreas. He looked at me bemused.
" whats all this about then
i think the dwarves want something my andreas
what do the dwarves want tone
i think the dwarves want their midnight kiss too
but ive never met them before. i GODDAM DONT KNOW WHO THE FUCK THESE FUCKERS ARE
settle down andreas
settle down
what the fuck
the dwarves were very upset by this outburst
they started to kind of yelp like litle puppies.
I started to weep
Andreaas couldnt take it anymore. He grabbed each of the dwarves by the armpits lifted them up to his lips and kissed them on the forehead. in exactly the same spot I recieved my midnight kiss.
The dwarves fell asleep minutes later.
Andreas looked up surly, looked at me and then smiled cheekily.
I wil always love andreas for that
The next day we were on a mission to kill those dirty filthy swine fucking no good evil bankers. I for one couldnt wait to see their blood spill. Filthy fucking parasites. Fuckin bankers, it was pure bloodlust. Even after all these years I dont feel guilty. those cunts should all be dead.
Fascinating, we each opened our sour eyes at the same time raised our heads at exactly the same height looking at the other opposite and then suddenly burst into laughter. a dwarves laugh is much like an angry gooses. I looked over at Andreas who was actually right next to me. He stared quite strangely with a dangerous lilt. I flinched like a girl and he punched me in the chest and I trying to present as if it didnt hurt, laughed along in complete betrayal of my own deep and unvalidated wounded child. I wont lie. oh no not I. Thief and Liar, Tone. I can tell you very honestly well it didnt hurt. I just made that up because this had to be said. I know you are struggling with the course of this story but you see i have interrupted the narrative flow to anger your sensitive perceptions and make you possibly feel the deep hurt and anger at the invalidation I was at the mercy of in these our sad sorry times. I demanded a recount and was blindly dismissed by all including those cute but nastly juggling dwarves you are all so fond of by now. And onwards we continue.
In the meantime i heard one of the dwarves mention the name of an actress who liked to have sexual encounters with strangers who wore red shirts at the time of her fancy taking control (the next day all the dwarves wore red shirts). One of the dwarves looked deadly serious. the other seemed to be moving his hand nonchalantly around his crotch for some unknown reason. Dwarves are actually dickless. I learnt that from my doctor friend. This doctor preferred to remain anonymous. But fuck him. You and I the people of The United Depths Of Dementia all know him as the ever popular and always entertaining, Dr. Feelgood. The best doctor of all. Why I hear some ignorant fool ask itself? Because you ignorant fool he gives you the drugs you ask for, not the ones that cant alter your state of mind.
Dr Feelgood if you read this I am very sorry but his had to be done. I have moved from my old address so no you cant come over and bludgeon my large brains out.
The name of the actress was Starlet One.
She was siting alone at the Cafe Downunder sipping on her flappucino. She wore a stunning red dress that made mad bulls in the market even angrier. She held the pose of a very confident and untouchable movie . star. Yes I know, she is one. What Im trying to say corrector, is that she would have held that pose even if she wasnt one you interrupting idiot. There are many voices but only one true light.
She sat leaning to one side smoking on a cigarello like a french film actress. Dont go there corrector!. She sat smiling occasionally to herself looking at her watch intermittently as if she was waiting for somebody. Only she knew there was no one coming. She was alone. She sat alone. She was like.... lonely.
Friday, April 23, 2010
wishing well wish you well
the silence. can you hear ? friend to all and best of mine. a heartfelt void of desire which the earthbound can never satisfy.I look out to the billion strong virus and scream at the wall of flesh. pulsing bursts of need and anxiety. furiously waiting to devour the all on which it feeds.
stand alone to watch the protein dna force its violence upon the innocent wood and earth.
it stood alone in silence. a watcher in the shadows. A watcher waiting to save the redeemable few. the time is coming. a war then silence. away with you. I no longer have time for the ape. a rejection of faith is what was now needed. the kings and their ladies will die of shame . the immutable many in darkness will fall.
it wasnt long before he had realised that the birds of prey dressed up in lace looming large on the horizon stared dead eyes at the humorless citizenry. What a glad time it was for the pastorals. their land had saved them from the doom. grass of jove was loved and now nature of god loved back. the good souls arose from the darkness into the suns eye. sunbeams reigned on the cloudy fields of gold.God rays speared clouds and entered the hearts of the remaining good transforming them into supermen. they flew with speed across the dark cities and turned them to ruins. in the city blocks, a friend of mine who liked to wear suits was last seen being pushed out of a high rise building by his fellow office clerks who thought he wanted to die. he never looked back but screamed in terror as his face disintegrated on the sidewalkof new york instead of spiritually smiling at his eternal return .
I am alone. ANd I am nearly gone. say goodbye to homer for me. wont you boys
stand alone to watch the protein dna force its violence upon the innocent wood and earth.
it stood alone in silence. a watcher in the shadows. A watcher waiting to save the redeemable few. the time is coming. a war then silence. away with you. I no longer have time for the ape. a rejection of faith is what was now needed. the kings and their ladies will die of shame . the immutable many in darkness will fall.
it wasnt long before he had realised that the birds of prey dressed up in lace looming large on the horizon stared dead eyes at the humorless citizenry. What a glad time it was for the pastorals. their land had saved them from the doom. grass of jove was loved and now nature of god loved back. the good souls arose from the darkness into the suns eye. sunbeams reigned on the cloudy fields of gold.God rays speared clouds and entered the hearts of the remaining good transforming them into supermen. they flew with speed across the dark cities and turned them to ruins. in the city blocks, a friend of mine who liked to wear suits was last seen being pushed out of a high rise building by his fellow office clerks who thought he wanted to die. he never looked back but screamed in terror as his face disintegrated on the sidewalkof new york instead of spiritually smiling at his eternal return .
I am alone. ANd I am nearly gone. say goodbye to homer for me. wont you boys
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